Anyways, here goes,
Sadly this cunning scheme is no longer quite as relevant given the glorious weather of late. However knowing England another spell of persistant rain is just around the corner.
My grand plan is to relocate our home ground from the gorgeous surrounds of the green in Reed to the much underused Millenium Dome – or whatever it’s called these days – in Greenwich. Now at first glance this would appear to be absurd but then just think of the benifits.
1, Rain will never stop play again and it will enable us to guarantee that we remain the only club in Hertfordshire still able to complete games when the heavens open.
2, It will mean a significantly shorter journey to games for our ‘overseas player’ Will Clarke, thus saving the club money in paying his expenses – like he needs them anyway.
3, Should messrs Allsopp, Ward, Martin, Cross, Robertson et al fancy a night out after a game they’ll have more options than Royston can offer.
4, Away trips to all those lovely grounds in the North London area will be brought considerably closer to our home ground. As an aside they wouldn’t have to travel as far to us.
5, Because we’re in London we can raise our bar prices and hence our bar takings will skyrocket.
6, The close proximity of sandwich shops and such like to the ground would mean that when Mr Johnson forgets his sandwiches in future he’ll have no option but to nip out and purchase some instead, preferably from pret.
7, Us Mordeners could get the train from the frankly magnificent Ashwell and Morden station and save money on the petrol we currently waste lugging our kit bags to every game.
So as you can see whilst it would be inconvenient for some current members I’m sure the attraction of playing in a national landmark and the 7 benifits listed above would more than make up for the possible negative consequences
Thank you for reading,
Onefa.
