During another intense period of contemplation I was pondering how it’s interesting that batsmen always fancy themselves as bowlers, bowlers invariably are convinced that they’re Bradman in disguise and everyone on the team secretly thinks that they’d make a great wicketkeeper. I’m a case in point I guess. Been bowling for over 15 years on the green now, never batted above about 10 for Reed but I’m still convinced I’m an undiscovered talent. I may not have a whole host of shots with which to gain the fans support. I may not look like the most elegant batsmen out there. Yet for various reasons, not least the fact that I’ve yet to be out on a Saturday this year and have a Sunday average approaching 60, I still think there’s talent there. So maybe I’m not the best person to comment upon this, as clearly I’m something of an all-rounder. It did leave me wondering though. Is it possible that someone with little or no apparent talent in the discipline they don’t specialise in can be dragged up at least to the level of good old fashioned mediocrity? What I needed was a project. Someone who’s bowling or batting was something of a laughing stock and I could help transform it. I’d be like a modern day cricketing guardian angel… Now despite the above I still reckon my bowling has the edge over my batting, so I figured that I’d probably have more success coaching a batsman to bowl, than a bowler to bat. I knew it’d be tough still but there must be a guinea pig out there. Fortunately at nets this week I found the perfect candidate, a stubborn left handed batsman with [...]

Having played cricket for a good few years at various levels and alongside people of varying intellects it has come to my attention that the standard of sledging overall is woeful. It lacks wit, subtlety and could for the most part have been invented by an Australian. Okay, for the weak of will a stream of mindless insults might be enough but what better way to put a player off his stride than to confuse him? It’s also a great opportunity to assert your superior brain power over the victim. Tired of ‘Need a bell in that mate?’, ‘Big swing, no ding’, and ‘3 runs till the next batting point, make yourself a hero’? Here’s some suggestions for you to try next time. Sledge 1, the Magnus effect. Imagine for a moment you are a spinner, you’re getting big drift and the batsman is frequently being deceived in the air. Imagine then the confusion you could cause by uttering to the wicket keeper the following, ‘Can’t handle the old Magnus effect, can he?’. This apparently absurd statement is actually true though. The Magnus effect comes about as a spinning object creates a kind of whirlpool of air spinning around itself. On one side of the object, the motion of the whirlpool will be in the same direction as the wind stream that the object is exposed to. On this side the velocity will be increased. On the other side, the motion of the whirlpool is in the opposite direction of the wind stream and the velocity will be decreased. As one side of the ball is now effectively travelling marginally faster than the other the ball will curve in flight. This is the cause of [...]

Hello, due to the inclement conditions and a lack of cricket this past weekend I’ve had much time for contemplation. In such times of thought a great thinker like myself tends to come up with some absolutely pearling ideas. Some of which seem slightly counter intuitive but most of which are faultlessly constructed. Ignoring a late plea from a captain of one of the Saturday sides who is a bowler to help with some ideas on captaincy this weeks episode steers clear of cricket. It is in fact a compendium of wonderful ideas and great conversation starters on rainy days. Interesting thought number 1, the baked bean bean bag. Now the students amongst our number may be fortunate enough to have regular bean bags in their living areas. For those that don’t know bean bags are generally made of a textile material and contain round objects which may or may not necessarily be beans. The generally appear comfortable but rarely are. Thinking about this as well as the odd sounding but great in practice ‘water bed’ led me to think about the possible hybrid, the baked bean bean bag. This would combine the versatility of a bean bag with the comfort of a water bed. It would also provide opportunity for a handy snack in the event of severe laziness. This would require a tap to be inserted or possibly a 2 way valve. All in all I still can’t comprehend why such a great invention has not yet appeared on the market. Interesting thought number 2, could a fish survive in custard? Again, another of life’s great mysteries and unless there is something rather wrong with you not something that can really be found [...]

You know how it works. In the week leading up to the game you’ve been on the BBC weather website even more times than you’ve imagined yourself winning the game almost on your own. With every change in the weather forecast your emotions swing wildly. Every ray of sun that appears as a little icon is just cause for a ticker tape parade. Every black cloud or spot of rain nearly results in a quick call to an anonymous help-line. You know that the weather forecast is by and large made up by meteorologists with too much time on their hands justifying their employment by whatever means they can but it still wont stop the fretting. What’s worse than a free Saturday in summer? Onto the game, On arriving at the ground and finding it either threatening rain or actually raining there are a couple of key things you’ve gotta do. Most of your day will revolve around the weather and so it’s a great idea to find out where it comes from. This can be done in a few different ways. One way is to indulge in some chatter with the opposing team, preferably their groundsman. If however it’s a team you don’t like very much simply observing the direction in which most of their players appear to be gazing could work if you’re prepared to put the time into it. Finally failing the above rely on the fact that in general in the UK, especially in East Anglia the prevailing wind is generally from the south west. How do I find the south west I hear you worry. Well don’t! Find the south, then the west and conveniently you’ll find that if you [...]

Hello all, in a slight change in the advertised schedule due to popular demand this weeks edition will be one for the bowlers. The second part of the much talked about ‘art of batting’ feature will be available later in the season. This weeks problem has become all too familiar to me in recent weeks but I’m surely not the only person in the world who can learn from it. Picture the scene, you’re in the middle of bowling a long and accurate spell, you’ve taken your one wicket for the day and the runs have dried up. People in your own team are beginning to nod off, the sun is shining and the larks are a singing. All of a sudden out of the blue a perfectly respectable ball on around off stump is dispatched way over your head into a corn field. It’s important I feel to note here that the following may be substituted for a corn field; a pavilion, a cow field, a road, a tree, or a ditch. It’s also important to realise that the ball can actually have gone anywhere in the arc from mid off to backward square leg. Now, I’ve been working on it hard but I haven’t yet invented my time machine, and unless you have you’ve got to accept what has just happened. What’s important though is how your react. Now I know what you’re thinking, bowl a stump shattering yorker or a devilish slower ball, but anyone can do that. What’s really vital is how you react in the time between the ball being sent into orbit and you bowling your next ball. Now as seems to be the trend in this fine blog [...]

Well after the relatively good feedback from the original work of art here is attempt number 2. Okay, I'll be honest, there are many others vastly more qualified than me to teach you about how to play certain shots and how to build an innings, so I thought I'd focus on an area in which I'm a relative expert and in which I think we could all learn a thing or two. This is the art of 'getting out'. Now obviously the less seasoned and intelligent amongst you may think that the whole idea of batting is to avoid getting out. However unless your name is Tom Fulk the vast majority of your innings will end with a dismissal. The key to this vital area is that there are certain ways of getting out which are acceptable and make you look more like a batsman and certain ways which make you look rather more foolish. In fact sometimes if you're playing a particularly scratchy innings getting out in a dignified manner can make you seem like a much better player than hanging around to score 3 not out in 43 days. Here I'm going to take you through the top 5 ways of getting out in the manner befitting a great player, in next weeks edition I will take a glance at methods that are best left to the ferrets (ferrets obviously coming in after rabbits) Top 5 dignified dismissals 1. Cajole the bowler into bowling you a perfect outswinger that pitches on leg stump yet hits the top of off. Play a textbook forward defensive just inside the line of the ball and turn around with a startled look on your face when you [...]

Hello and welcome to my first ever blog. I'm not entirely sure why I've been chosen for this obviously vitally important task but I shall endevour to meet and perhaps even exceed expectations. I've been a member of Reed since I was around 8 years old but have - rather shamefully - been absent in recent years due to university and the fine sportbof Ultimate Frisbee. I've even competed in the World Ultimate Frisbee Championships but we'll leave that for another rainy day when I run out of material. Sadly this will probably happen relatively soon but we shall see..... Anyways, here goes, Sadly this cunning scheme is no longer quite as relevant given the glorious weather of late. However knowing England another spell of persistant rain is just around the corner. My grand plan is to relocate our home ground from the gorgeous surrounds of the green in Reed to the much underused Millenium Dome - or whatever it's called these days - in Greenwich. Now at first glance this would appear to be absurd but then just think of the benifits. 1, Rain will never stop play again and it will enable us to guarantee that we remain the only club in Hertfordshire still able to complete games when the heavens open. 2, It will mean a significantly shorter journey to games for our 'overseas player' Will Clarke, thus saving the club money in paying his expenses - like he needs them anyway. 3, Should messrs Allsopp, Ward, Martin, Cross, Robertson et al fancy a night out after a game they'll have more options than Royston can offer. 4, Away trips to all those lovely grounds in the North London area will be [...]