During another intense period of contemplation I was pondering how it’s interesting that batsmen always fancy themselves as bowlers, bowlers invariably are convinced that they’re Bradman in disguise and everyone on the team secretly thinks that they’d make a great wicketkeeper. I’m a case in point I guess. Been bowling for over 15 years on the green now, never batted above about 10 for Reed but I’m still convinced I’m an undiscovered talent. I may not have a whole host of shots with which to gain the fans support. I may not look like the most elegant batsmen out there. Yet for various reasons, not least the fact that I’ve yet to be out on a Saturday this year and have a Sunday average approaching 60, I still think there’s talent there. So maybe I’m not the best person to comment upon this, as clearly I’m something of an all-rounder. It did leave me wondering though. Is it possible that someone with little or no apparent talent in the discipline they don’t specialise in can be dragged up at least to the level of good old fashioned mediocrity? What I needed was a project. Someone who’s bowling or batting was something of a laughing stock and I could help transform it. I’d be like a modern day cricketing guardian angel… Now despite the above I still reckon my bowling has the edge over my batting, so I figured that I’d probably have more success coaching a batsman to bowl, than a bowler to bat. I knew it’d be tough still but there must be a guinea pig out there. Fortunately at nets this week I found the perfect candidate, a stubborn left handed batsman with [...]

Having played cricket for a good few years at various levels and alongside people of varying intellects it has come to my attention that the standard of sledging overall is woeful. It lacks wit, subtlety and could for the most part have been invented by an Australian. Okay, for the weak of will a stream of mindless insults might be enough but what better way to put a player off his stride than to confuse him? It’s also a great opportunity to assert your superior brain power over the victim. Tired of ‘Need a bell in that mate?’, ‘Big swing, no ding’, and ‘3 runs till the next batting point, make yourself a hero’? Here’s some suggestions for you to try next time. Sledge 1, the Magnus effect. Imagine for a moment you are a spinner, you’re getting big drift and the batsman is frequently being deceived in the air. Imagine then the confusion you could cause by uttering to the wicket keeper the following, ‘Can’t handle the old Magnus effect, can he?’. This apparently absurd statement is actually true though. The Magnus effect comes about as a spinning object creates a kind of whirlpool of air spinning around itself. On one side of the object, the motion of the whirlpool will be in the same direction as the wind stream that the object is exposed to. On this side the velocity will be increased. On the other side, the motion of the whirlpool is in the opposite direction of the wind stream and the velocity will be decreased. As one side of the ball is now effectively travelling marginally faster than the other the ball will curve in flight. This is the cause of [...]

Hello, due to the inclement conditions and a lack of cricket this past weekend I’ve had much time for contemplation. In such times of thought a great thinker like myself tends to come up with some absolutely pearling ideas. Some of which seem slightly counter intuitive but most of which are faultlessly constructed. Ignoring a late plea from a captain of one of the Saturday sides who is a bowler to help with some ideas on captaincy this weeks episode steers clear of cricket. It is in fact a compendium of wonderful ideas and great conversation starters on rainy days. Interesting thought number 1, the baked bean bean bag. Now the students amongst our number may be fortunate enough to have regular bean bags in their living areas. For those that don’t know bean bags are generally made of a textile material and contain round objects which may or may not necessarily be beans. The generally appear comfortable but rarely are. Thinking about this as well as the odd sounding but great in practice ‘water bed’ led me to think about the possible hybrid, the baked bean bean bag. This would combine the versatility of a bean bag with the comfort of a water bed. It would also provide opportunity for a handy snack in the event of severe laziness. This would require a tap to be inserted or possibly a 2 way valve. All in all I still can’t comprehend why such a great invention has not yet appeared on the market. Interesting thought number 2, could a fish survive in custard? Again, another of life’s great mysteries and unless there is something rather wrong with you not something that can really be found [...]